Sep 1st, 2005 | Literary Translation, NCTA Info, NCTA Meetings, Translation | No Comments
By Nina Scott
The May General Meeting held a cornucopia of delights for literary lovers, and lovers of language, in the form of a panel discussion among three of NCTA’s “transliterati.” In a talk moderated by Translorial editor Steve Goldstein, literary translators Anne Milano Appel, Alison Anderson, and Olivia Sears shared their insights about language, writing, poetry, and the business of translation.
All three of the panelists hold extremely strong literary credentials. Anne Milano Appel has been a full-time Italian/English translator since 1996; her recent nonfiction translation of Stefano Bortolussi’s Head Above Water won the 2003 Northern California Book Award for translation. Alison Anderson is not only a literary translator, but also a published novelist, whose most recent novel, Darwin’s Wink, was published last fall. She has just completed a translation of Ensemble, C’est Tout, by best-selling French author Anna Gavalda. Olivia Sears is a poet as well as a translator of Italian poetry. She is the founder of both Two Lines, an annual journal of new, international literature in translation, and the non-profit Center for the Art of Translation (CAT), which promotes translation as a bridge between cultures.
The session got off on a high note at the very beginning with the reading of a press notice from that very morning announcing that the prestigious Man Booker organization in Britain had inaugurated a new, $28,000 award for literary translation. With spirits thus suitably raised among both the panelists and the audience, the discussion began in earnest with a look at the kinds of qualifications that are required for literary translation. First and foremost: a love of books and reading, and a “feel” for language.
Building relationships
“It’s like trying to figure out a crossword puzzle,” said Anne, a former library director before becoming a translator. “You have to have a feel for literature and language to begin with … it’s about finding the right word, and hearing the text breathe.”Being exposed to a second culture at a young age was more an advantage than a true requirement, the panelists agreed. Anne shared that she grew up having her maternal grandmother speak to her in Italian and recalls she would always answer her grandmother in English. She feels this experience gave her an advantage, adding, “you can’t have language without culture”—a notion not disputed by the other panelists, who nonetheless came to their second languages a bit later. Olivia, whose specialty is Italian Renaissance poetry, didn’t grow up immersed in foreign languages and didn’t touch Italian until college. She says, “I didn’t know the culture and it was not in my blood so I had to work at it.”
That work includes developing a relationship with the author, if possible, if he or she is still alive—and even if not! And not just for relatively straightforward issues of terminology, either. For Alison, translating gives her the chance to get “… into the heart and soul of the author,” which allows her to participate in his creativity.” Similarly for Anne: “You have to get into the mind of the author. Most authors are flattered if you’re interested.”
How do authors and translators find each other? There rarely seems to be a fixed pattern, although networking, writing proposals to publishing houses, and oftentimes sheer determination, helps. As does, at times, serendipity, as when a delayed airplane flight allowed Alison to read a book she might otherwise not have read. When she later contacted the publisher about the book’s translation rights, the publisher offered Alison another, larger translation project on the spot!
The translation of poetry is a special type of literary translation; it is the very subject for which Robert Frost penned the immortal phrase “lost in translation.” While it is not a prerequisite to be a novelist in order to translate fiction, it is almost indispensable that one be a poet if one is to translate poetry. Olivia cited one exception to this, but it was the exception that proved the rule. This is understandable when one considers that poetry translation brings with it a host of special challenges, from meter to register to that perennial bugaboo, rhyme. “Translating rhyme is especially difficult because it makes poetry hard to access,” commented Olivia.
Considering the audiences
When asked about where fidelity lies—to the source text, the author, or the reader—the panelists had a variety of insights. Anne, for example, found herself translating plays differently than prose. Once, when translating a play, she found the process “too stiff” but tried to hear how it sounded in the source text so as to be as true to it as possible. Alison tends to try to improve language where appropriate: “I will do it if it’s unclear, for example, or if it seems like it needs to be broken into smaller sentences.” Other topics the panelists addressed included pay rates (“Decent money is possible with commercial projects,” commented Olivia; “Don’t quit your day job!,” said Alison), credits and copyrights, and book recommendations. At the end of the session, a lively question-and-answer period ended with Steve posing one final question for the audience to consider:
How can we get Oprah to do a show on translation and translators?
May 1st, 2005 | Business Services, NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
By Naomi Baer
Guest speakers at the February General Meeting included Anna Realini, Membership Director of Media Alliance, and Ed Elkin, the insurance broker handling Media Alliance’s group health insurance plan and other insurance options for the self-employed. In their presentation, Ms. Realini described Media Alliance’s work, including the services it offers as an association for media writers, with classes, job listings, and community events, as well as the health insurance plan it makes available to freelance workers.
Ms. Realini also touched briefly on the other half of Media Alliance’s work as an advocacy organization, with campaigns concerning democracy and diversity in the media system, as well as advocating for community media. She outlined the process for becoming a Media Alliance Professional Member, which offers a discounted rate for NCTA members. Ed Elkin presented By Naomi Baer general information about both disability and health insurance, and also discussed the new types of Health Savings Accounts that have been offered since 2004. Informational packets were provided, but more detailed information is also offered at monthly meetings at both Media Alliance’s office in Oakland and Ed Elkin’s office in Orinda. San Francisco meetings may also be scheduled in the future.
Resources
Ed Elkin, Media Alliance’s insurance broker, (925) 254-3864, pachelp@edelkin.com.
Anna Realini, Media Alliance Membership Director, (510) 832-9000 x302, membership@media-alliance.org.
For the next scheduled information sessions (monthly), contact Ed Elkin, or see http://tinyurl.com/5leeh.
May 1st, 2005 | NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
By Naomi Baer
February’s General Meeting was a chance for many old and new NCTA members to come together, as elections were held, honorary awards were issued, and outgoing NCTA President Michael Metzger was recognized. After Barbara Guggemos’ Treasurer Report and announcements about upcoming workshops, Steve Goldstein let the attendees in on what would be coming up in the next few issues of Translorial. Yves Avérous announced that PDF files of past issues are now available online, including active links to resources mentioned in the issues.
Many, many NCTA members have contributed to the organization’s work this year, and four were recognized with honorary memberships for the year: Hannelore McCrumb, for her invaluable help with the phone lines and voice mail; Steve Goldstein, as the original editor of Translorial who returned this year to edit a revamped journal; Michael Schubert, for his ongoing work as NCTA listmaster; and Ginger Wei, for her role as ad manager. Several additional volunteers were recognized and thanked: Nina Friedman, for her work in co-creating the Wordfast workshop and for offering administrative help; Brigitte Keen, for coordinating NCTA’s participation in public television pledge drives; and Alison Anderson, Sharlee Merner Bradley, and Anne Milano Appel for their assistance with Translorial proofreading.
Election results were announced, with Tuomas Kostiainen elected as President, with 130 votes, Yves Avérous elected as Vice President, with 129 votes, Laura Blijleven Bergmans re-elected as a Director, with 124 votes, Raffaella Buschiazzo elected as a Director with 123 votes, and Martin Hoffman elected as a Director with 129 votes. Tuomas Kostiainen thanked outgoing President Michael Metzger for his many years of service to the organization, and read the letter written by NCTA member Andrea Bindereif, describing the numerous projects he has done over the years with the NCTA. Michael’s wife, Chikako Nakandakari, was also thanked for her gracious support of Michael’s many hours spent on NCTA work.
Feb 1st, 2005 | ATA, Conferences, Interpretation, NCTA Info, NCTA Meetings, Reports, Translation | No Comments
By Naomi Baer
It’s been a busy fall for NCTA, and several presentations on various members’ activities were given at the General Meeting in December. Tetu Hirai, Merav Rozenblum, and Celine Detraz all reported on their experiences at the ATA Conference held in Toronto in October, passing along highlights from presentations they attended and describing how they focused their time at the conference.
Tetu found that networking with other translators and agencies was especially useful to him, as was as a talk entitled “Digital Voice Recorder-Assisted Consecutive Interpretation,” in which a new technology was introduced that uses interpreter-controlled recording and playback devices to allow interpreters to free themselves from note-taking, and thus interpret simultaneously from their recording.
Céline had also attended this talk, and told us that she found it helpful to be exposed to new technologies in the industry. As a second-time attendee at the conference, she felt that she was better able to focus on the events that would be specific to her current needs. A highlight for her was being able to connect with colleagues and re-connect with the translation community after having been less involved after the birth of her child. She was particularly happy to have increased contact with NCTA, through other members attending the conference, and found that the conference was motivational for her both in her work and in her desire to be more active in the translation community.
A couple of other sessions as well stood out for Celine: “Internet Privacy for the Small or Home Office Environment,” where resources for addressing spam and spyware were discussed (see http://www.jill-sommer.com/en/presentation2.htm for details), and the session, “Self-Assessment and Quality in Simultaneous Interpreting.”
Merav, as a third-time conference attendee, also found it easier to focus her participation on those sessions of specific interest to her, and particularly enjoyed meeting colleagues and giving her own workshop on the Hebrew language. Other highlights for her were Peter Less’s talk on his experiences as an interpreter at the Nuremberg trials after WWII (read more in the ATA Chronicle’s September issue), the Literary Translation Division Café, and a talk by the first publisher of a Spanglish dictionary.
In local news, Michael Metzger reported on NCTA’s recent participation in the Localization World Conference in San Francisco, where workshops were given by Tuomas Kostiainen and Jost Zetzsche, and a panel presentation included participation by Sabine Hathaway and Christopher Niedermair. An NCTA table was maintained throughout the conference, where potential translation clients could stop by to learn about our organization and referral database, as well as pick up material from the ATA on how to go about getting high quality translations.
One of the biggest changes for NCTA this year has been our new website, and Laura Blijleven-Bergmans showed us how to use some of the site’s main features, including online renewals, updates of translator profiles, workshop registration, translator searches, and accessing the Translorial archive.
The meeting wrapped up with a chance to network as everyone helped with the end-of-year mailing, including ballots and candidate statements for the February 2005 election, along with renewal notices.
Dec 1st, 2004 | NCTA Meetings | No Comments
By Naomi Baer, Secretary
Attendees at the September general meeting were treated to a wealth of practical linguistic and business information, with four translators working in different areas of specialization sharing their views in a panel discussion. Speakers on the panel included Sabine Hathaway, currently a localization agency owner, with a background in German-English conference interpretation and freelance translation; Donald Johnson, a financial/legal translator of Japanese currently focusing on semiconductor electronics; Norma Kaminsky, a freelance Spanish translator coming to medical translation from a background as a practicing medical doctor; and Tuomas Kostiainen, a freelance Finnish translator working primarily in natural sciences and technology, with a background in agricultural sciences and entomology.
Hannelore McCrumb moderated the panel, generating a conversation about many aspects of these translators’ work and backgrounds, including how they got their start, how they stay current in their fields, resources they draw on, finding work, market conditions, negotiating prices, and general advice for how to get started as a translator. (See below.)
Questions from the audience focused on such practical issues as estimating the volume of work that can be completed each day, TM (Translation Memory) ownership, and marketing.
Other business discussed at the meeting included the announcement of the new membership directory, which was on display, and the progress on the new website. The new site is now in operation, with new functionalities detailed in this issue, including online registration and payments.
Some members were also preparing for their trip to the ATA conference in Toronto, with a discussion of the collective lodging arrangements that were negotiated by Yves Avérous.
Raffaela Buschiazzo reported on the success of the St. Jerome’s Day celebration held at member Jessica Berman’s farm in the North Bay the previous week, with a great turnout and delicious barbecue and samples from the farm on a hot, summer day in Sonoma County (see “Picnic!” article in this issue).
Tips on Getting Started
Sabine Hathaway
Get smart about using technological tools. Everybody needs to use Trados or another CAT tool.
Be open to industry demands that may push you in new directions.
Offer value-added services, such as the ability to do layout in FrameMaker, or to take screenshots.
Donald Johnson
Be proficient in your languages.
Develop a specialty, either at the start, or over time.
Norma Kaminsky
Doing a good job is the best way to ensure that you have repeat business.
Decline projects that are outside your capabilities. Clients will appreciate it.
Keep developing your target language skills—especially writing—which have to be almost perfect. The better the writer you are, the better the translator you will be.
Network and collaborate with colleagues, even if they’re in the same language combination and field as you. You’re more likely to be helped by your colleagues than hurt by competition from them.
Tuomas Kostiainen
Make good investments in your equipment; using Trados or another TM tool pays for itself in less than one month of work. Get good dictionaries and make use of electronic dictionaries.
Network; find colleagues you can work with, both to share work and to learn about new subject areas.
Spend time on glossary development; you can’t start early enough doing this.
Hannelore McCrumb
Get to know your colleagues; my group of German colleagues has been meeting for 10 years and it’s a great asset, especially for sharing work when you need to pass a project on to someone else.
Know your resources and how to use the Internet well.
Sep 1st, 2004 | NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
By Naomi Baer, Secretary
The energy of new ideas was in the air at May’s General Meeting! A half dozen people attended the New Member Orientation, and everyone participated in a very productive brainstorming session in small groups of old and new members.
Laura Blijleven started out the meeting with a presentation of NCTA’s new website, to which we’ll be migrating in the very near future. She announced that we’ve signed a contract with Affiniscape, a company that creates websites for professional associations like ours. Their focus on this area allows them to create cost-effective designs for the range of services that most professional associations need and will allow us to bring our features up to date in a variety of ways.
Laura presented some of Affiniscape’s existing websites for other associations, and introduced various modules that can be integrated into our site. Some of the new capabilities could include online registration for workshops, more extensive search capabilities, and a members-only section, where, for example, archived back issues of Translorial could be accessed. Members were asked for their suggestions about the design and features of the new site, and the feedback that was received will be posted on the NCTA member list.
For the brainstorming session, members broke up into small groups and generated many new ideas, including upcoming events, workshop topics, speakers for General Meetings, member recruitment, and variations on the traditional meeting formats (see Feedback Session Report in this issue). Of course, this wasn’t the only opportunity to contribute; new ideas are always welcome! Board members or the NCTA Administrator can be contacted any time with your suggestions.
After this lively discussion, the small groups presented some of their key ideas to the meeting as a whole, and finally, some great door prizes were given away. Several reference books were awarded, as well as a gift certificate to L’Arc-en-plume.
Several announcements followed, including NCTA’s participation in the Public Television pledge drive, one of the events that’s become an annual tradition for socializing with other members while generating some publicity for the organization.
This meeting also marked our second General Meeting at the San Francisco Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Center, and we’ve moved upstairs into a bigger space. The new environment allowed us to hold the entire meeting in one area, and made it easier for everyone to find a comfortable seat during the presentation, as well as to circulate before and after the meeting.
We look forward to seeing everyone for another uplifting General Meeting on September 18.
Sep 1st, 2004 | Business Tools, NCTA Info, NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
The TransMUG list is a private mailing list created by members of the Northern California Translators Association and aimed at translators using the Mac platform, to discuss and share experiences and solutions pertaining to their profession.
Last Spring, the group managed to meet once a month until work and private schedules started conflicting at the eve of summertime. As Fall is upon us, the group will meet again at the occasion of our General Meeting, on Saturday, September 18 at noon, at the Three Dollar Bill Café, on the ground floor of The Center, one hour prior to the start of the NCTA gathering that will unfold three floors above.
Please refer to directions given for the General Meeting to come join us. And if you are not a “transmugger” yet, visit us on the Web at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/transmug/ and subscribe! Y.A.
May 1st, 2004 | ATA, Continuing Ed., NCTA Info, NCTA Meetings, Opinion | No Comments
By Tuomas Kostiainen
As you probably know by now, ATA’s continuing education requirement took effect at the beginning of this year. All ATA-certified translators need to accrue 20 Continuing Education (CE) points during each three-year period, with a maximum of 10 points per year, in order to maintain their certification. For further information, see ATA’s website at http://www.atanet.org/certification_change.htm.
This new requirement provides NCTA with an opportunity to organize more workshops, since more people are likely to participate in them, but it also means that we’ll have an even greater obligation to organize workshops and other educational events so that our members have as many different options as possible available to fulfill the requirement. Naturally, this wider selection of offerings will also benefit all the non-certified members. You don’t have to be a certified translator in order to enjoy the increasing selection of our workshops. After all, the point of CE points is not to collect points for points’ sake but to learn and become a better translator.
Obviously, the easiest way to fulfill the CE requirement is to attend the ATA Annual Conference two out of three years. You can earn 10 points with each annual conference, which means that two conferences in three years would be enough. Unfortunately, the cost can be relatively high, particularly if the conference locations happen to be far away.
However, the CE requirement doesn’t have to break your bank, since the credit grid also offers many other, less costly options. As an example, I wanted to show you a low-cost way to collect your required CE points with the help of NCTA. Our General Meetings, workshops and other educational events are the key to a versatile, affordable and local way to accomplish this. The table below gives an example where the only additional cost (in addition to your ATA membership fee) is the cost of one workshop in three years (generally only about $40!).
Naturally, you can mix & match various items depending on your preferences. If you can’t come to every General Meeting, take a workshop or two each year. Two 4-hour workshops each year already give you more than enough points at less than $100 a year—all tax-deductible.
Also, remember that local colleges and other organizations offer many interesting and useful courses that will give you CE points. However, if you feel that you can’t find suitable courses or workshops anywhere, let us know what you would like to learn. We are constantly looking for new workshop ideas.
As you can see from the table above, fulfilling your CE requirements does not necessarily mean long trips, expensive hotels and high conference fees. You can do it all here locally and affordably.
ATA membership – 2 points - Maximum allowed per 3 years is 2 points.
NCTA General Meetings - 1 point - Maximum allowed per 3 years is 12 points.
Published article on translation/interpreting (e.g. in Translorial) – 2 points – Maximum allowed per 3 years is 4 points.
NCTA workshop - 4 or more points – Maximum allowed per year is 10 points.
May 1st, 2004 | Literary Translation, NCTA Meetings | No Comments
By Naomi Baer, Secretary
In a colorful, lively new meeting space, old and new NCTA members enjoyed the chance to get together in February for networking, an engaging speaker, the presentation of honorary memberships and our annual elections.
The San Francisco LGBT Center turned out to be a convenient meeting location for most members, and people seemed to particularly enjoy the chance to socialize in the brightly painted lounge we rented for our networking sessions. The Center’s modern design and the pleasant spaces of its new building eased our transition from NCTA’s longtime meeting space at the old UC Berkeley Extension building a block away. Plans have been made to continue meeting at the Center in May, in a larger room within the same building, with additional information provided for transportation and parking options in the neighborhood.
Several new members were welcomed with a New Member Orientation, which is held at the start of every General Meeting to provide information about NCTA’s activities and services. After general business was taken care of, NCTA President Michael Metzger and member Evan Geisinger presented awards to members who were recognized for outstanding service to the NCTA and the translation community.
Honorary memberships were awarded to Norma Kaminsky and Karl Kaussen in recognition of their work to develop and promote the Translators Certification Program of the University of California at Berkeley Extension. Marianne Pripps-Huertas was also awarded an honorary membership in recognition of her time and effort in providing opportunities for continuing education for translators and interpreters.
A lifetime honorary membership in the NCTA was awarded to Bob Killingsworth for his many years of service to the organization as Treasurer, Translorial Editor and as database, technical and software expert, helping NCTA to evolve technologically. As a small token of our appreciation for all of the honorees’ hard work, they were given mugs imprinted with the NCTA logo, made possible by our new web-based service, Café Press, which allows members to order items imprinted with the NCTA logo at any time. (See http://www.cafepress.com/ncta for more information.) Final vote counts for the annual board election were announced, and newly elected board members Naomi Baer, Barbara Guggemos, Brigitte Reich and Anna Schlegel were introduced. The board as a whole welcomed everybody to take the opportunity of the elections to talk with board members about their suggestions and feedback for NCTA activities and above all, to join in and get more involved in the organization.
Members, as always, travelled from all over the Bay Area to gather for the meeting, but the NCTA member who probably travelled the farthest this time was Danièle Heinen, translator and owner of L’Arc-en-plume in Montreal. Danièle gave a brief presentation about translator education in Canada, as well as about the services her company provides in selling electronic dictionaries and software oriented towards translators.
The highlight of the meeting was the guest speaker, dramaturg and translator Paul Walsh, who gave a lively, detailed description of his work on the American Conservatory Theater’s recent production of Henrik Ibsen’s A Doll’s House. Walsh described the process of translating for speech, working with actors to achieve a translation that accurately conveyed the impact that Ibsen’s language had on original audiences while also being flexible at times to find language that actors were able to use naturally in their performance. He also spoke about some of the challenges of working with Ibsen’s text, his research process for tracking down unusual terms from 19thcentury Norwegian, and even how he had to rewrite the lines for some roles which were combined for this production. Particularly interesting was his discussion of how his translation departed from choices that other translators had made in working with Ibsen over the last century.
More information about Mr. Walsh’s work on the production can be found at: http://act-sf.org/index.cfm?s_id=&pid=pub_art&pub=4.
May 1st, 2000 | Business Services, NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
by Patricia Ramos
The February General Meeting was well attended, drawing even some people who had to leave their homes in the wee hours of the morning to get to San Francisco in time. We were looking forward to learning the secrets of financial success from our invited speaker, Maritza Nevarez, CFP, but also to meeting the new members of the 2000-2001 Board of Directors and celebrating the recipients of the volunteer awards.
For her many years of dedicated service to the Association, notably as editor of Translorial, Sharlee Merner Bradley was named Volunteer of the Decade and awarded lifetime honorary membership in NCTA. For all her help with Membership and Public Relations in 1999, Reina Montes-Hillegass was named Volunteer of the Year. Their tireless efforts have been dearly appreciated.
Before the meeting, the Election Committee, composed of Hany Farag, Edlth Fried and Karl Kaussen, had opened the ballot envelopes and tabulated the voting results. Following the presentation of the volunteer awards, Karl Kaussen announced the number of votes for each candidate and presented the members of the 2000/2001 Board of Directors. The four officers are Sylvia Korwek, president; Amy Russell, vice president; Bernard Cleary, treasurer: and Laura Jennings-Blijleven, secretary. The six directors are Yves Avérous (Ethics & Database Management), Michael Metzger (Publications & Webmaster), Patricia Ramos (Events), Andrea Bindereif (Public Relations & Membership), Essam Elmahgoop (Legislation, Interpreter & Agency Liaison), and Peter Gergay (Accreditation).
Sylvia Korwek introduced our invited speaker, Maritza Nevarez, a Certified Financial Planner. She couldn’t have come to speak at a more appropriate time because, while anytime is a good time to begin planning for one’s future, the best time to do it is around tax time to take advantage of investment deductions.
Ms. Nevarez said she understood that most of us want to be financially independent. To this end, the first thing we must do was to assess the cost. In order to be sure of having 100% or more of what we’ll need, she said we must figure out where we are now financially, i.e. what we own minus what we owe. By calculating this, we’ll know our net worth and see how close we are to what we need At this point, we need to take a serious look at how important our goals are, how far we will go to accomplish them, and how we will feel doing this.
Once we’ve figured out what it will take to have discretionary income after expenses we can move on to protecting our hard-earned money. Ms. Nevarez suggested three options. First, set aside some reserves in a primary account with easy access, but probably a low return. Second, protect your income with disability insurance. Did you know that 33% of 35-year-olds will become disabled at some point during their working lives? Third, life insurance: buy it before you need it.
Some discretionary income should then be invested. She advised splitting it up among a variety of options such as stocks and bonds, real estate, mutual funds or government securities plus some “large-cap” stocks. She stated the law of risk and return, which is that the higher the return required, the higher the risk that must be accepted. Each of us must assess our risk tolerance, goals and time frame when determining our asset allocation. She then spoke of estate planning and the different retirement plans available.
For help with all of this, Ms. Nevarez recommended hiring a Certified Financial Planner. She advised us to make sure we choose a CFP who has an HP-12C calculator and knows how to use it.
May 1st, 2000 | NCTA Meetings, Reports | No Comments
by Hany Farag
Shortly before 3 p.m. the speaker dashed in. In no time the blinds were shut, the projection screen went up, the lights were dimmed, and some paper started floating from the front row. The speaker asked attendees to write their names on circulating sheet. To my surprise, she used an old-fashioned slide projector. A picture of a pyramid appeared, and we were moving up through stages of financial archeology. It was very primitive information, yet I was certain soon we would reach the nitty gritty.
The clicking sound of the rotating slide carousel kept me alert. Had the speaker been using a laptop and PowerPoint presentation, I would have been snoring by now. I remembered the slide projector I have at home, which has survived every garage sale I’ve ever had. I once left it on the sidewalk with a ”free” sign, but it was there the following morning. When a financial planner uses a slide projector, the fashion must be changing. Laptops lack the elegance and authenticity of the past. With the return to classic style, my slide projector is valuable again. Personally I don’t need it, so if you are into meetings and presentations, please give me a call.
I became all ears when the speaker said; “This is what people pay me a lot of money to know.” Now I’m getting the vital financial knowledge. I continued to listen, but nothing came out, just casual talk. The wisdom must have been given before that sentence. Did I miss it? Was I lost?
Obviously something so valuable would be repeated. I decided to focus and catch every word. Browsing between financial terms, the speaker again said, “And this is what people pay me big money for. I was going out of my mind. There was nothing following this complete sentence. I had always had trouble with finances; things look very simple to me in a deceiving way. Did I miss it again? No way. Could it depend on what the meaning of THIS is?
I took a deep breath. I decided to catch every word in my brain, like a magnet, with ability to replay it. The speaker started to summarize and close. Focusing in full alert and ready to receive the blessing, I felt the tempo building up to a crescendo abruptly interrupted by a question, “What about SEP?” For heaven’s sake, who cares about SEP now? We’ve known about that since we first filled in the Schedule C on our tax returns.
There was silence. The pause stretched as if the translator’s question was in a foreign language. A somber and apologetic voice came from the floor explaining “Simplified Employee Pension plan.” The rest was history.
You realize by now that the title of this report is a hoax. I was paid nothing to write it, and you got nothing out of it. I tried to sell you the old slide projector in my garage. Cash only, please. Give me a buzz, will you?
